This was forwarded to me by a friend. Makes a lot of sense. *._.*
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
In a brief conversation,
a man asked a woman
he was pursuing the question:
"What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before
looking him in the eye and asking,
"Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said "Yes."
She began to expound...
"As a woman in this day and age,
I am in a position to ask a man
what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.
I pay my own bills. I take care of my household
without the help of any man...
or woman for that matter.
I am in the position to ask,
"What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her.
Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought and stated,
"I am not referring to money.
I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for perfection
in every aspect of life."
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms,
and asked her to explain.
She said "I am looking for someone
who is striving for excellence mentally
because I need conversation and mental stimulation.
I don't need a simple-minded man.
"I am looking for someone
who is striving for excellence spiritually
because I don't need to be unequally yoked...
believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.
"I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't
need a financial burden.
"I am looking for someone
who I can respect. In order to be submissive,
I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man
who isn't taking care of his business.
I have no problem being submissive.. .
he just has to be worthy.
"God made woman to be a help mate for man.
I can't help a man if he can't help himself."
When she finished her spiel, she looked at him.
He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You are asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Kainis!
Naiinis ako, although now that I'm writing about it, I am realizing that I have nothing to be angry about. ang labo ko din minsan. *._.*
I think, I am just atat, worried and paranoid combined.
Kasi naman, last month, BPHR's notice about the end of my contract arrived. I was saying "ang aga naman eh sa June pa naman ako magti-three years". Anyway, the deadline given to my supervisors was 8 November. I heard that the director delegated it to one of my supervisors.
It's now October and until now, I haven't seen any memo about it. Would I be confirmed or let go? I know the deadline of November 8 is far ahead but our director is out of town. He will only be back on Monday. By then, the one he assigned would have already been gone. He would go out of the country by 27 October and due to report to work on 12 November. Lampas na ng deadline nun. Pano nako?
Hmp! Bahala nga sila. If they won't confirm me, bahala sila. Thank you nalang yung MBA degree ko.
I think, I am just atat, worried and paranoid combined.
Kasi naman, last month, BPHR's notice about the end of my contract arrived. I was saying "ang aga naman eh sa June pa naman ako magti-three years". Anyway, the deadline given to my supervisors was 8 November. I heard that the director delegated it to one of my supervisors.
It's now October and until now, I haven't seen any memo about it. Would I be confirmed or let go? I know the deadline of November 8 is far ahead but our director is out of town. He will only be back on Monday. By then, the one he assigned would have already been gone. He would go out of the country by 27 October and due to report to work on 12 November. Lampas na ng deadline nun. Pano nako?
Hmp! Bahala nga sila. If they won't confirm me, bahala sila. Thank you nalang yung MBA degree ko.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Fixing a Broken Heart
Today, it saddened me to hear about a friend's broken relationship. I heard about it last week actually, but I thought (I was hoping) it was just an ordinary LQ. Apparently, this is more serious than that.
Two months before, another friend had to end her relationship with someone.
As a fairy tale girl who wants every ending, whether it be movie, novel or real life to be "they lived happily ever after", news of breaking-up is really a sad, sad news.
I remember my first broken heart back in 1992 (tagal na 'no?) when I caught my then boyfriend two-timing. It was really painful. All the descriptions I read in books about being broken-hearted (which I thought were corny before) like me nakatarak na matalim sa dibdib, me sementong nakadagan, etc. etc. were true. If I were to describe broken heart, I would say "it is worse than having a toothache, stomachace, headache and backache combined". There was this unexplainable heaviness of heart and a pain that is beyond comforting.
Anyway, when I went through that, I felt so lethargic. The mornings did not bring me any fresh start; in fact they brought me fresh tears. I did not have appetite. Sad songs seem to be always about me. I was lonely even in a crowd.
The nights were the hardest because sleep always escaped me. I think the only things that I wanted to do then were sulk and cry, but crying I did with more passion. Even in my sleep, I cried. Maybe, my crying was with a desperate hope that my tears would finally dry out and that my misery would end, (naks, misery daw o) but indeed, misery was a perfect description of what I felt then.
Maybe our good times were worth all the tears or maybe I was too plain foolish or maybe I was really "inlove", I stayed in that same relationship for a long-long time. Our on-break-on-break cycle took 15 years although counting all the years we were "on" would only take half of those years. Our relationship formally ended on 9 June 2007 - the day he got married - to no less than a friend of mine.
Weeks before the wedding, I was miserable. I was confused why he was getting married all of a sudden when he was still trying to come back to me (me mga konting kundisyones lang naman ako before accepting him with open arms again). I was miserable because the date of his wedding is my niece's first birthday and christening (so malamang, kita-kits kami sa church). I was miserable because he was having his wedding reception at their place, exactly 4 houses away from mine. I was miserable because I received lots of calls and sms asking why he was getting married with somebody else. I was plain miserable.
After the wedding, I thought I was done with the misery. I thought I would just spend sometime "hiding" then after that I'll be okay. Kaso mapagbiro ang tadhana.
My ex's sister who happens to be my bestfriend came home for the wedding. She would go back to London a week after the wedding. The day of her flight, I asked her to pass by the office to get the stuffs I bought for her and for us to have lunch together. Sukat ba namang mag-text while on her way here na she's with my ex and my ex's wife. Grabe!!!
To cut the long story short, I survived that ordeal with flying colors. I pretended I was okay. I acted as a very good hostess. I treat them for lunch. I made chika-chika with the wife. I also congratulated her. My ex and I did not talk; not even a single word.
Four months after that unforgettable day, I tell my friends I am having a good time. I am enjoying my single-blessedness so much as if I haven't a care in the world. I am excited to just explore things; to go out with friends and scour the different (A-Z) eating places; to have pajama parties; to experiment on different recipes; to read my paperbacks, etc. etc. It seems that the choices are endless, I don't know which ones to do first.
People ask me when I would get married because I am not getting any younger. I tell them I will get married if the right guy comes along. I told them not to mind the age because I'd rather be married 10 years less with the right guy than 10 years more with the wrong guy.
To you my broken-hearted friend, you don't need friends who would say:
"ano ka ba, stop crying for that guy because he doesn't deserve it" or "get a grip, grow up" or things like that, so you would never hear me say those words. I heard those before and aside from the pain they caused me, they contributed nothing to my healing.
What I'll say though is this:
You need time to grieve for the broken relationship. Take as much time you need. We won't rush you. We will just be here to support you. One day, you'll be okay. Look at J_ _ _, ok na ok na siya ngayon. Dami nga prospects eh.
Ako, ok na din. Wala nga lang prospect.
Ikaw, I'm sure, magiging okay ka na din in no time. In the meantime, watch ka nalang muna ng FRIENDS series and go out with us. *._.*
Two months before, another friend had to end her relationship with someone.
As a fairy tale girl who wants every ending, whether it be movie, novel or real life to be "they lived happily ever after", news of breaking-up is really a sad, sad news.
I remember my first broken heart back in 1992 (tagal na 'no?) when I caught my then boyfriend two-timing. It was really painful. All the descriptions I read in books about being broken-hearted (which I thought were corny before) like me nakatarak na matalim sa dibdib, me sementong nakadagan, etc. etc. were true. If I were to describe broken heart, I would say "it is worse than having a toothache, stomachace, headache and backache combined". There was this unexplainable heaviness of heart and a pain that is beyond comforting.
Anyway, when I went through that, I felt so lethargic. The mornings did not bring me any fresh start; in fact they brought me fresh tears. I did not have appetite. Sad songs seem to be always about me. I was lonely even in a crowd.
The nights were the hardest because sleep always escaped me. I think the only things that I wanted to do then were sulk and cry, but crying I did with more passion. Even in my sleep, I cried. Maybe, my crying was with a desperate hope that my tears would finally dry out and that my misery would end, (naks, misery daw o) but indeed, misery was a perfect description of what I felt then.
Maybe our good times were worth all the tears or maybe I was too plain foolish or maybe I was really "inlove", I stayed in that same relationship for a long-long time. Our on-break-on-break cycle took 15 years although counting all the years we were "on" would only take half of those years. Our relationship formally ended on 9 June 2007 - the day he got married - to no less than a friend of mine.
Weeks before the wedding, I was miserable. I was confused why he was getting married all of a sudden when he was still trying to come back to me (me mga konting kundisyones lang naman ako before accepting him with open arms again). I was miserable because the date of his wedding is my niece's first birthday and christening (so malamang, kita-kits kami sa church). I was miserable because he was having his wedding reception at their place, exactly 4 houses away from mine. I was miserable because I received lots of calls and sms asking why he was getting married with somebody else. I was plain miserable.
After the wedding, I thought I was done with the misery. I thought I would just spend sometime "hiding" then after that I'll be okay. Kaso mapagbiro ang tadhana.
My ex's sister who happens to be my bestfriend came home for the wedding. She would go back to London a week after the wedding. The day of her flight, I asked her to pass by the office to get the stuffs I bought for her and for us to have lunch together. Sukat ba namang mag-text while on her way here na she's with my ex and my ex's wife. Grabe!!!
To cut the long story short, I survived that ordeal with flying colors. I pretended I was okay. I acted as a very good hostess. I treat them for lunch. I made chika-chika with the wife. I also congratulated her. My ex and I did not talk; not even a single word.
Four months after that unforgettable day, I tell my friends I am having a good time. I am enjoying my single-blessedness so much as if I haven't a care in the world. I am excited to just explore things; to go out with friends and scour the different (A-Z) eating places; to have pajama parties; to experiment on different recipes; to read my paperbacks, etc. etc. It seems that the choices are endless, I don't know which ones to do first.
People ask me when I would get married because I am not getting any younger. I tell them I will get married if the right guy comes along. I told them not to mind the age because I'd rather be married 10 years less with the right guy than 10 years more with the wrong guy.
To you my broken-hearted friend, you don't need friends who would say:
"ano ka ba, stop crying for that guy because he doesn't deserve it" or "get a grip, grow up" or things like that, so you would never hear me say those words. I heard those before and aside from the pain they caused me, they contributed nothing to my healing.
What I'll say though is this:
You need time to grieve for the broken relationship. Take as much time you need. We won't rush you. We will just be here to support you. One day, you'll be okay. Look at J_ _ _, ok na ok na siya ngayon. Dami nga prospects eh.
Ako, ok na din. Wala nga lang prospect.
Ikaw, I'm sure, magiging okay ka na din in no time. In the meantime, watch ka nalang muna ng FRIENDS series and go out with us. *._.*
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A Tribute to my Spiritual Mom
I got excited when one of our MBA classes required us to interview a leader that exhibits the leadership imperatives of path-finding, aligning, empowering and modelling. Next to our church pastor who I thought would be the best to interview for his proximity, I thought about somebody who inspired me and helped mold me into who I am now. Below is the paper I submitted.
The Leader I Want to Become
What is leadership?
There are many definitions of leadership. Some definitions focus on the position, while others focus on the tenure, and still others focus on the abilities. As for me, I subscribe to John C. Maxwell’s definition of leadership: "leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less."
Leaders are influencers. They are able to persuade others to follow them. Being such entails both privilege and responsibility. Because of this, a leader should exhibit the path-finding, aligning, empowering and modeling imperatives of leadership.
The path-finding role of leadership is the ability of the leader to know where he is going. I agree with Helen Keller’s maxim that “worse than being blind would be to be able to see but not have any vision”. Visioning is very important in a leader because the vision determines where the organization would go. However, it is not enough that the leader has a vision. It is essential that he creates the right kind of vision – that which represents the company’s and team’s spirit and values, and one that makes them own.
An aligning leader knows how to create and put in place systems and structures that enable the team to work towards the realization of the vision. The rules or standards should be consistent with the goals. These should enable the team to execute major concerns and not act as roadblocks. As in any organization, a team consists of unique individuals, sharing some similarities and lots of differences, so working effectively with them is a challenge. To be able to rise above that challenge, it is important that the leader knows how to work with these differences and motivate the team to work towards the common goal. This is part of the aligning role of leadership.
I like the way one resource speaker in the class defines empowerment. She said, empowerment means taking risk with people. I think it means making a wise judgment on the abilities of people and being in the forefront of those people as they explore and venture into bigger responsibilities. It means spotting potentials from your team and giving them responsibilities accordingly. It entails encouraging them to try new things and allowing them to experiment and commit mistakes if need be. A leader who encourages excellence but also gives room for mistakes is an empowerer.
Modeling is also a very important leadership imperative. It is making sure that the leader has integrity to lead; it means that his walk matches his talk. Inconsistencies in a leader make him lose his credibility and therefore loses his influence.
As I look back on the leaders that have touched my life and those that I want to emulate, the name Adele Joseph stands out. She is the epitome of a great leader, someone that I respect and admire, and someone that I want to become.
I knew Adele back in 1997; that time when I was still a bit young and still confused about a lot of things. She was then the Regional Sales Manager of Manulife Philippines, Metro East Area. She reported directly to Mr. Renato A. Vergel De Dios, CEO of Manulife Philippines.
As a regional sales manager, Adele was in charge of meeting sales and manpower targets for the region, and training and developing sales team leaders. Also part of her responsibilities was participation in the formulation of sales policies and initiatives.
As in every leader, challenge is inevitable and the ability of the leader to rise above the challenges defines his or her leadership ability. When asked about the most difficult challenges she faced as a leader and how she dealt with them, Adele says, “one of the most difficult challenges of being a leader is to think and see yourself as one: what does it mean to be a leader? what kind of a leader am I going to be? What helped me was I think John Maxwell's definition of a leader as ‘a person of influence’. It set me free from trying to be the ’strong and willful’ leader that I thought leaders were meant to be, to one who could quietly walk around the team and influencing the individual team members towards a common goal. I also saw myself as a ‘servant-leader’ just the way Jesus is to us. I learned not to be afraid to see myself ‘serving’ the needs of the people I work with.
Below is part of the interview I had with Adele:
J: You were a consistent achiever. How did you motivate your team to work towards meeting the quotas or objectives? Aside from the quotas, did you have your own visions for your team? If so, what were they? How about the discipleship groups you were leading, did you have vision for them?
Adele: One of the most important things I believe that I did as a leader was to develop a vision for the team: a sales team that pursues excellence not only in our sales targets but even in the way we met those sales targets. We subscribe to the importance of integrity, hard work and teamwork, among other team values. On a personal level, my desire was for our team to work excellently as unto the Lord. Hence, the underlying values of our team were actually bible-based: for example, the principle of sowing and reaping; submitting to our authority in the workplace; being honest in the way we met our targets; showing love and concern for each other.
We had annual sales targets which were subdivided into monthly targets. The team was made aware at the beginning of the year of our sales target for the year. Each team member is asked to do an Annual Plan which took his/her work/personal needs, as well as the team requirements into consideration. The targets/results are reviewed on a monthly basis in a team meeting, and semi-annually during the Mid-Year Review.
With the Discipleship Group, my vision was based on Matthew 28:18-20. As I led our discipleship group, my vision was to develop disciples who in turn would lead other disciples, too. Our disciples must be faithful, available, teachable. As I led our discipleship group, I believe we all had to continue growing in those areas so that we could grow ourselves and eventually our disciples as well.
J: As a leader, what were your greatest fears?
Adele: My greatest fear at that time was probably my adequacy as a leader. There will always be people who will challenge your leadership, and make you feel they can do a better job than you. So there were definitely moments when I felt inadequate, and insecure. However, I was blessed with a direct boss who constantly affirmed his trust and confidence in my leadership. Also, I did my best to equip myself: studying, taking up agency management courses, reading, learning from good and effective managers. I also made sure I had continuing conversations with the people I work with who were honest enough to give me sound feedback on the way I was managing our group.
J: What do you think are the qualities of a good leader?
Adele: A good leader is one who is not afraid to lead. He is one who knows he has been entrusted with a role for a season; hence, his feet will be grounded on the ground, and he will not think of himself as someone who has "arrived." He takes this stewardship seriously, as the livelihood of individuals and their families are entrusted to him. A good leader has a vision for his team, and he has integrity of purpose not only for himself but also for the people that he works with.
A good leader knows his main job is to influence the people around him towards a common goal. More than that, he sees that inculcating sound values in them would enable them to become all that they can be on the job. A good leader is not afraid to let others shine; he can be quite content to stay in the background and let his team members take the spotlight. He is big enough to know that as they take the spotlight, a bigger light also beams on him.
A good leader is not afraid to make difficult decisions. When all is said and done, and reviews and conversations and even warning letters have been written, a good leader is not afraid to let people go -- people who do not commit themselves to the team goal, and who actually disrupt the team. He is not afraid to be unpopular, as the integrity of his decision will eventually come through.
J: Were there any occasions wherein you had to make tough choices or decisions? What were these decisions?
Adele: Yes, I had to ask people to leave our team. Some of the most difficult decisions had to do with asking two of my team leaders to resign. Unfortunately, these team leaders, in separate instances, were not leading their teams well.
When I had to ask someone to leave, the person would have been warned countless times -- diplomatically, then eventually sternly, then formally (written). I would have consulted the people they worked with directly, and even the more senior team members. I would have consulted my direct manager as well. After knowing that I have exhausted all options, then I make the decision, and talk to the person concerned.
After the person has left, I then talk to the team members who would be affected by the decision. I make it a point not to talk against the person who has resigned; the purpose of the meeting is simply to assure the team members that we have made a careful decision, and that we have to move on.
J: How did you empower your team?
Adele: I saw the potential in people. I had the gift of being able to see what a person can be, in spite of what he/she is at that time. Therefore, I could spot potential leaders, and I was able to affirm constantly and continuously what I saw in them. For example, one of my former sales agents was barely meeting production, but I kept telling her she has the potential to be an agency manager. You cannot imagine how distressed she was every time I posed the challenge to her! Well, true enough, she is now an Agency Manager of Manulife, with three teams under her.
I also developed people by giving them assignments. I start with small assignments, and I watch how they do it. Then I give them bigger assignments, until they are able to handle more and difficult assignments. I make them handle meetings, share in front of the group, and handle teams informally. I consult them so they know their ideas are important, and that they can be counted on to help build the team.
I make the team members see that building a team is not my job; it is everybody's job. This makes them develop a sense of ownership for the team.
J: What advice could you tell me so I could also be an effective leader?
Adele: To be an effective leader, you have to think less of yourself, and more of others. It is not about you; it is about the people you lead.
Adele’s leadership qualities are something to be admired. I am a witness to how she makes her office a room of comfort for her team, and not a place of stress.
As a leader, she led an exemplary life – no inconsistencies whatsoever. She was an authority when it comes to talking about credibility. She walked her talk. She was above reproach.
She encouraged us to live victorious lives. In a world wherein it is so hard to keep our values, she motivated us to use the bible as our standard for living. She taught us to stand up on our beliefs and values and not to be afraid to be against the flow.
I remember, being a young and rebellious team member, Adele dealt with me with diplomacy and patience. I challenged every mandate she gave us and yet she accorded me with respect and kindness.
Adele has the ability to balance being tough – to make people deliver, and being tender – to make people want to just open their hearts to her. With Adele, we can freely speak out our minds. She develops an environment wherein all of us can ask questions, no matter how stupid these questions may be. One of her principles was: if it matters to you, then it matters.
One of my most cherished memories of her is how she showed her genuine love and concern for me. I was rebellious and as such, I tend to ignore rules and disregard warnings. On one occasion, I deliberately disobeyed her orders. I got what I deserved – a painful consequence to my disobedience. Instead of scolding me and saying “I told you so” (which I could have done if I were in her shoes), she hugged me and comforted me. Not once did I hear any nagging from her. That moment, she earned my full trust and respect, and most especially, I shaped up.
I could never put into writing all the things Adele has taught me. For me, they are all lessons in life that I want to learn, re-learn and impart.
So what now? After all the things that I learned, what’s next? What do all these things mean to me?
As a leader, I know I have a very important role because I am an influencer. I can either influence others positively or negatively; I can either make or break a person. Fortunately for me, I had the privilege of having a leader that constantly builds people up. I know the effect she had on me. This is why I would like to help others experience the same thing. I would like to share the lessons I learned through Adele and pass them on to others.
I am a leader for a season. The people under me are entrusted to me and I am accountable for the influence I would have on them. As such, I know I have the responsibility to influence them into becoming the best that they can be. I realized that I can not give what I do not have so I have to still learn so many things. I can only be effective as a leader if I strive to be a better person and consistently lead myself into becoming the kind of person that I should be. . . . then I can have the integrity to lead others.
When my season of leadership ends, my only hope is to know that I would have touched a person’s life positively.
The Leader I Want to Become
What is leadership?
There are many definitions of leadership. Some definitions focus on the position, while others focus on the tenure, and still others focus on the abilities. As for me, I subscribe to John C. Maxwell’s definition of leadership: "leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less."
Leaders are influencers. They are able to persuade others to follow them. Being such entails both privilege and responsibility. Because of this, a leader should exhibit the path-finding, aligning, empowering and modeling imperatives of leadership.
The path-finding role of leadership is the ability of the leader to know where he is going. I agree with Helen Keller’s maxim that “worse than being blind would be to be able to see but not have any vision”. Visioning is very important in a leader because the vision determines where the organization would go. However, it is not enough that the leader has a vision. It is essential that he creates the right kind of vision – that which represents the company’s and team’s spirit and values, and one that makes them own.
An aligning leader knows how to create and put in place systems and structures that enable the team to work towards the realization of the vision. The rules or standards should be consistent with the goals. These should enable the team to execute major concerns and not act as roadblocks. As in any organization, a team consists of unique individuals, sharing some similarities and lots of differences, so working effectively with them is a challenge. To be able to rise above that challenge, it is important that the leader knows how to work with these differences and motivate the team to work towards the common goal. This is part of the aligning role of leadership.
I like the way one resource speaker in the class defines empowerment. She said, empowerment means taking risk with people. I think it means making a wise judgment on the abilities of people and being in the forefront of those people as they explore and venture into bigger responsibilities. It means spotting potentials from your team and giving them responsibilities accordingly. It entails encouraging them to try new things and allowing them to experiment and commit mistakes if need be. A leader who encourages excellence but also gives room for mistakes is an empowerer.
Modeling is also a very important leadership imperative. It is making sure that the leader has integrity to lead; it means that his walk matches his talk. Inconsistencies in a leader make him lose his credibility and therefore loses his influence.
As I look back on the leaders that have touched my life and those that I want to emulate, the name Adele Joseph stands out. She is the epitome of a great leader, someone that I respect and admire, and someone that I want to become.
I knew Adele back in 1997; that time when I was still a bit young and still confused about a lot of things. She was then the Regional Sales Manager of Manulife Philippines, Metro East Area. She reported directly to Mr. Renato A. Vergel De Dios, CEO of Manulife Philippines.
As a regional sales manager, Adele was in charge of meeting sales and manpower targets for the region, and training and developing sales team leaders. Also part of her responsibilities was participation in the formulation of sales policies and initiatives.
As in every leader, challenge is inevitable and the ability of the leader to rise above the challenges defines his or her leadership ability. When asked about the most difficult challenges she faced as a leader and how she dealt with them, Adele says, “one of the most difficult challenges of being a leader is to think and see yourself as one: what does it mean to be a leader? what kind of a leader am I going to be? What helped me was I think John Maxwell's definition of a leader as ‘a person of influence’. It set me free from trying to be the ’strong and willful’ leader that I thought leaders were meant to be, to one who could quietly walk around the team and influencing the individual team members towards a common goal. I also saw myself as a ‘servant-leader’ just the way Jesus is to us. I learned not to be afraid to see myself ‘serving’ the needs of the people I work with.
Below is part of the interview I had with Adele:
J: You were a consistent achiever. How did you motivate your team to work towards meeting the quotas or objectives? Aside from the quotas, did you have your own visions for your team? If so, what were they? How about the discipleship groups you were leading, did you have vision for them?
Adele: One of the most important things I believe that I did as a leader was to develop a vision for the team: a sales team that pursues excellence not only in our sales targets but even in the way we met those sales targets. We subscribe to the importance of integrity, hard work and teamwork, among other team values. On a personal level, my desire was for our team to work excellently as unto the Lord. Hence, the underlying values of our team were actually bible-based: for example, the principle of sowing and reaping; submitting to our authority in the workplace; being honest in the way we met our targets; showing love and concern for each other.
We had annual sales targets which were subdivided into monthly targets. The team was made aware at the beginning of the year of our sales target for the year. Each team member is asked to do an Annual Plan which took his/her work/personal needs, as well as the team requirements into consideration. The targets/results are reviewed on a monthly basis in a team meeting, and semi-annually during the Mid-Year Review.
With the Discipleship Group, my vision was based on Matthew 28:18-20. As I led our discipleship group, my vision was to develop disciples who in turn would lead other disciples, too. Our disciples must be faithful, available, teachable. As I led our discipleship group, I believe we all had to continue growing in those areas so that we could grow ourselves and eventually our disciples as well.
J: As a leader, what were your greatest fears?
Adele: My greatest fear at that time was probably my adequacy as a leader. There will always be people who will challenge your leadership, and make you feel they can do a better job than you. So there were definitely moments when I felt inadequate, and insecure. However, I was blessed with a direct boss who constantly affirmed his trust and confidence in my leadership. Also, I did my best to equip myself: studying, taking up agency management courses, reading, learning from good and effective managers. I also made sure I had continuing conversations with the people I work with who were honest enough to give me sound feedback on the way I was managing our group.
J: What do you think are the qualities of a good leader?
Adele: A good leader is one who is not afraid to lead. He is one who knows he has been entrusted with a role for a season; hence, his feet will be grounded on the ground, and he will not think of himself as someone who has "arrived." He takes this stewardship seriously, as the livelihood of individuals and their families are entrusted to him. A good leader has a vision for his team, and he has integrity of purpose not only for himself but also for the people that he works with.
A good leader knows his main job is to influence the people around him towards a common goal. More than that, he sees that inculcating sound values in them would enable them to become all that they can be on the job. A good leader is not afraid to let others shine; he can be quite content to stay in the background and let his team members take the spotlight. He is big enough to know that as they take the spotlight, a bigger light also beams on him.
A good leader is not afraid to make difficult decisions. When all is said and done, and reviews and conversations and even warning letters have been written, a good leader is not afraid to let people go -- people who do not commit themselves to the team goal, and who actually disrupt the team. He is not afraid to be unpopular, as the integrity of his decision will eventually come through.
J: Were there any occasions wherein you had to make tough choices or decisions? What were these decisions?
Adele: Yes, I had to ask people to leave our team. Some of the most difficult decisions had to do with asking two of my team leaders to resign. Unfortunately, these team leaders, in separate instances, were not leading their teams well.
When I had to ask someone to leave, the person would have been warned countless times -- diplomatically, then eventually sternly, then formally (written). I would have consulted the people they worked with directly, and even the more senior team members. I would have consulted my direct manager as well. After knowing that I have exhausted all options, then I make the decision, and talk to the person concerned.
After the person has left, I then talk to the team members who would be affected by the decision. I make it a point not to talk against the person who has resigned; the purpose of the meeting is simply to assure the team members that we have made a careful decision, and that we have to move on.
J: How did you empower your team?
Adele: I saw the potential in people. I had the gift of being able to see what a person can be, in spite of what he/she is at that time. Therefore, I could spot potential leaders, and I was able to affirm constantly and continuously what I saw in them. For example, one of my former sales agents was barely meeting production, but I kept telling her she has the potential to be an agency manager. You cannot imagine how distressed she was every time I posed the challenge to her! Well, true enough, she is now an Agency Manager of Manulife, with three teams under her.
I also developed people by giving them assignments. I start with small assignments, and I watch how they do it. Then I give them bigger assignments, until they are able to handle more and difficult assignments. I make them handle meetings, share in front of the group, and handle teams informally. I consult them so they know their ideas are important, and that they can be counted on to help build the team.
I make the team members see that building a team is not my job; it is everybody's job. This makes them develop a sense of ownership for the team.
J: What advice could you tell me so I could also be an effective leader?
Adele: To be an effective leader, you have to think less of yourself, and more of others. It is not about you; it is about the people you lead.
Adele’s leadership qualities are something to be admired. I am a witness to how she makes her office a room of comfort for her team, and not a place of stress.
As a leader, she led an exemplary life – no inconsistencies whatsoever. She was an authority when it comes to talking about credibility. She walked her talk. She was above reproach.
She encouraged us to live victorious lives. In a world wherein it is so hard to keep our values, she motivated us to use the bible as our standard for living. She taught us to stand up on our beliefs and values and not to be afraid to be against the flow.
I remember, being a young and rebellious team member, Adele dealt with me with diplomacy and patience. I challenged every mandate she gave us and yet she accorded me with respect and kindness.
Adele has the ability to balance being tough – to make people deliver, and being tender – to make people want to just open their hearts to her. With Adele, we can freely speak out our minds. She develops an environment wherein all of us can ask questions, no matter how stupid these questions may be. One of her principles was: if it matters to you, then it matters.
One of my most cherished memories of her is how she showed her genuine love and concern for me. I was rebellious and as such, I tend to ignore rules and disregard warnings. On one occasion, I deliberately disobeyed her orders. I got what I deserved – a painful consequence to my disobedience. Instead of scolding me and saying “I told you so” (which I could have done if I were in her shoes), she hugged me and comforted me. Not once did I hear any nagging from her. That moment, she earned my full trust and respect, and most especially, I shaped up.
I could never put into writing all the things Adele has taught me. For me, they are all lessons in life that I want to learn, re-learn and impart.
So what now? After all the things that I learned, what’s next? What do all these things mean to me?
As a leader, I know I have a very important role because I am an influencer. I can either influence others positively or negatively; I can either make or break a person. Fortunately for me, I had the privilege of having a leader that constantly builds people up. I know the effect she had on me. This is why I would like to help others experience the same thing. I would like to share the lessons I learned through Adele and pass them on to others.
I am a leader for a season. The people under me are entrusted to me and I am accountable for the influence I would have on them. As such, I know I have the responsibility to influence them into becoming the best that they can be. I realized that I can not give what I do not have so I have to still learn so many things. I can only be effective as a leader if I strive to be a better person and consistently lead myself into becoming the kind of person that I should be. . . . then I can have the integrity to lead others.
When my season of leadership ends, my only hope is to know that I would have touched a person’s life positively.
Worried sick
I'm worried. I heard that my father's blood pressure shot up last night. He has been busy and into a lot of pressure for the past few days. He is running the small farm and the thresher business on his own, plus he is alone in the house and might be lonely sometimes. These, and the fact that he is not getting any younger (he will turn 63 this December) are taking a toll on his health.
The forthcoming barangay elections also adds to his worries. He has filed for candidacy (as barangay captain) even in the midst of our complaints and protests. According to him, politics in that small barrio of ours is starting to get rowdy - with the different parties throwing intrigues at each other. I don't understand how a small barangay where people know one another and everyone seems related to each other allow politics to cause a rift in their relationships. Is politics or the desire for power really that great?
Anyway, the fact that Tatay is running for office makes him a common target of intrigues. This angers him, which in turn angers me. I get angry, not with the intrigues but with Tatay's reaction to intrigues. He usually takes things personally and the opinions of others matter a great deal to him. I keep on telling him that if he wants to run for office, he should not expect all people to be pleased with him. He should not be 'pikon' because there are always those who won't agree with him, those who have different set of values from him and those whose purpose is just to create chaos. Hay, if only I can stop that election from happening . . . .
Tatay said that he really wants to help the people in our barangay. He sees the incumbent officers lacking in genuine desire to serve those who put them in office so he wants to take a chance, that if people want him, he would serve them well. Ewan ko ba!
I see my Tatay's generosity with the people. Sometimes, he is too generous that he gives to the point of abuse. This is one of the very reasons why I don't want him to run for office. I hate it when people abuse his kindness and take everything that he does for granted.
Well, I just hope that my father would be ready for whatever the outcome of the election is.
The forthcoming barangay elections also adds to his worries. He has filed for candidacy (as barangay captain) even in the midst of our complaints and protests. According to him, politics in that small barrio of ours is starting to get rowdy - with the different parties throwing intrigues at each other. I don't understand how a small barangay where people know one another and everyone seems related to each other allow politics to cause a rift in their relationships. Is politics or the desire for power really that great?
Anyway, the fact that Tatay is running for office makes him a common target of intrigues. This angers him, which in turn angers me. I get angry, not with the intrigues but with Tatay's reaction to intrigues. He usually takes things personally and the opinions of others matter a great deal to him. I keep on telling him that if he wants to run for office, he should not expect all people to be pleased with him. He should not be 'pikon' because there are always those who won't agree with him, those who have different set of values from him and those whose purpose is just to create chaos. Hay, if only I can stop that election from happening . . . .
Tatay said that he really wants to help the people in our barangay. He sees the incumbent officers lacking in genuine desire to serve those who put them in office so he wants to take a chance, that if people want him, he would serve them well. Ewan ko ba!
I see my Tatay's generosity with the people. Sometimes, he is too generous that he gives to the point of abuse. This is one of the very reasons why I don't want him to run for office. I hate it when people abuse his kindness and take everything that he does for granted.
Well, I just hope that my father would be ready for whatever the outcome of the election is.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
38 Questions
1. Name one person who made you laugh last night? nobody
2. What were you doing at 0800? going to the office
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? picking up my boss' credit cards
4. What happened to you in 2006? a lot
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? kainis! (addressed to amex)
6. How many beverages did you have today? 2 - water & coffee (beverage ba yun?)
7. What color is your hairbrush? gray
8. What was the last thing you paid for? jeepney fare this morning
9. Where were you last night? bible class then home lang
10. What color is your front door? brown
11. Where do you keep your change? minsan sa coin purse; minsan shoot ko lang sa bag ko
12. What’s the weather like today? sunny
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? rocky road, avocado, manticado and cheese
14. What excites you? prospect of reading a new novel (boring 'no?)
15. Do you want to cut your hair? i just did! so short na nga eh
16. Are you over the age of 25? yup
17. Do you talk a lot? not really
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? yup, our consultant
20. Do you make up your own words? sometimes
21. Are you a jealous person? YES
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Avi (isa lang ba? dami kong friends na A ang start ng name eh -- Adele, Adela, Anna, Aileen, Aldous, Allan, Amabel (tama bang i-enumerate lahat he he he)
Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Katal
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Tatay
25. What does the last text message you received say? "Ako for kapitan, kgd rene m. tejada, rafael babila, dennis v. valdez, rosalina t. lagunero, beatriz p. fernando and arsenio dc corpuz
26. Do you chew on your straw? nope
27. Do you have curly hair? i have naturally curly hair pero mukhang straight na siya ngayon
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? ladies' room
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? parang wala pa naman
30. What was the last thing you ate? luncheon meat and spanish sardines (sarap)
31. Will you get married in the future? i'm not sure -- if God's best come along why not?
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? naku, i haven't watched a movie for the past 2 weeks
33. Is there anyone you like right now? wala
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? last week
35. Are you currently depressed? nope
36. Did you cry today? nope
37. Why did you answer and post this? sabi ng manager kong si jake eh
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. wala pa akong ma-tag eh. sowee . . . .
2. What were you doing at 0800? going to the office
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? picking up my boss' credit cards
4. What happened to you in 2006? a lot
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? kainis! (addressed to amex)
6. How many beverages did you have today? 2 - water & coffee (beverage ba yun?)
7. What color is your hairbrush? gray
8. What was the last thing you paid for? jeepney fare this morning
9. Where were you last night? bible class then home lang
10. What color is your front door? brown
11. Where do you keep your change? minsan sa coin purse; minsan shoot ko lang sa bag ko
12. What’s the weather like today? sunny
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? rocky road, avocado, manticado and cheese
14. What excites you? prospect of reading a new novel (boring 'no?)
15. Do you want to cut your hair? i just did! so short na nga eh
16. Are you over the age of 25? yup
17. Do you talk a lot? not really
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? yup, our consultant
20. Do you make up your own words? sometimes
21. Are you a jealous person? YES
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Avi (isa lang ba? dami kong friends na A ang start ng name eh -- Adele, Adela, Anna, Aileen, Aldous, Allan, Amabel (tama bang i-enumerate lahat he he he)
Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Katal
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Tatay
25. What does the last text message you received say? "Ako for kapitan, kgd rene m. tejada, rafael babila, dennis v. valdez, rosalina t. lagunero, beatriz p. fernando and arsenio dc corpuz
26. Do you chew on your straw? nope
27. Do you have curly hair? i have naturally curly hair pero mukhang straight na siya ngayon
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? ladies' room
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? parang wala pa naman
30. What was the last thing you ate? luncheon meat and spanish sardines (sarap)
31. Will you get married in the future? i'm not sure -- if God's best come along why not?
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? naku, i haven't watched a movie for the past 2 weeks
33. Is there anyone you like right now? wala
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? last week
35. Are you currently depressed? nope
36. Did you cry today? nope
37. Why did you answer and post this? sabi ng manager kong si jake eh
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. wala pa akong ma-tag eh. sowee . . . .
Monday, October 15, 2007
Gracious Uncertain
Finally, I have come to realize that there is nothing certain on this world except God. I have learned to let go of my illusions and demand for certainty. They are simply useless to be clinging to.
You see, I started to second guess God and His will. I thought, "If I did this or that, God would give me this." "If I worked hard, God would grant me that." etc. etc. This is like putting God in a box, and this is very wrong.
I realized that I should be still and wait on God because I am assured that He loves me and He has my best interests at heart. I know that He is causing all things to happen - that though there are seemingly unpleasant things that are coming my way, I have peace because the one who put them there loves me. I am reassured that He makes me face hardships so I would be molded into the kind of woman that He wants me to be. Putting all of these to heart makes me gracious to all the uncertainties.
You see, I started to second guess God and His will. I thought, "If I did this or that, God would give me this." "If I worked hard, God would grant me that." etc. etc. This is like putting God in a box, and this is very wrong.
I realized that I should be still and wait on God because I am assured that He loves me and He has my best interests at heart. I know that He is causing all things to happen - that though there are seemingly unpleasant things that are coming my way, I have peace because the one who put them there loves me. I am reassured that He makes me face hardships so I would be molded into the kind of woman that He wants me to be. Putting all of these to heart makes me gracious to all the uncertainties.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Antidote to Doubt
Over the past few weeks, doubt has again started to rear its ugly head. As I look back on the things that triggered it, I came to realize that the unanswered prayers are the culprit. But come to think of it, the prayers were not really unanswered; God just answered them in a different way - in a way that I didn't like and that started a rebellion on my part.
O, how easy it is for me to rebel against God and forget all the things that He has done for me. I'm quite ashamed of myself. My prayer is that, no matter what happens, I would always see the hand of God in everything, and that I would never forget His goodness.
This Don Moen song could be a very good reminder . . . .
Lord You Are Good
Where would I be
If You had not been by my side
How could I rise to meet
The morning of the day
Your tender mercy
Always calling from behind
At times I could not see You
Even though You were close by
Lord You are good
You are Good
And Your mercy forever endures
Lord You are good
You are good
And Your mercy forever endures
Help me to see Your loving kindness
Help me to see You as You are
Help me to see Your loving kindness
Help me to see You as You are
As You really really are
And Your mercy forever endures
And Your mercy forever endures
O, how easy it is for me to rebel against God and forget all the things that He has done for me. I'm quite ashamed of myself. My prayer is that, no matter what happens, I would always see the hand of God in everything, and that I would never forget His goodness.
This Don Moen song could be a very good reminder . . . .
Lord You Are Good
Where would I be
If You had not been by my side
How could I rise to meet
The morning of the day
Your tender mercy
Always calling from behind
At times I could not see You
Even though You were close by
Lord You are good
You are Good
And Your mercy forever endures
Lord You are good
You are good
And Your mercy forever endures
Help me to see Your loving kindness
Help me to see You as You are
Help me to see Your loving kindness
Help me to see You as You are
As You really really are
And Your mercy forever endures
And Your mercy forever endures
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Three-in-a-row
I've heard of yet another friend's dad's death early this morning. This is the third in a span of three months. From August, a "dad" that I know dies. I couldn't help but to be concerned (I think disturb is more like it). The first death has been disturbing; the second one has been a struggle, and now another death!
I know death is inevitable; everyone dies, others sooner than the others, but somehow, I couldn't help but to be affected. I wonder what message God wants to tell me about these deaths. Is there something he wants to tell me about my family?
My family has always been my waterloo because it has always been "them" that come first in my life. In a way, they have become my "idol". I know God is displeased whenever we put somebody or something before Him. I have been very cautious not to be idolatrous and I think I have been doing well.
Am I wrong in my self-assessment then? Is this another case of "thinking I am standing up so now I fell"?
I wanna know what God has to say to me. I really am disturbed.
I know death is inevitable; everyone dies, others sooner than the others, but somehow, I couldn't help but to be affected. I wonder what message God wants to tell me about these deaths. Is there something he wants to tell me about my family?
My family has always been my waterloo because it has always been "them" that come first in my life. In a way, they have become my "idol". I know God is displeased whenever we put somebody or something before Him. I have been very cautious not to be idolatrous and I think I have been doing well.
Am I wrong in my self-assessment then? Is this another case of "thinking I am standing up so now I fell"?
I wanna know what God has to say to me. I really am disturbed.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Special Child
Today I met a special child. His name is Timothy.
I arrived too early in my godson's birthday party then this boy of about nine or 10 approached me. He was so curious; he kept on asking a lot of questions. When the party started, he became so unruly. He kept on poking the mascot. He also kept on touching the giveaways, the cake, the emcees. His poor mother followed him around but couldn't do much as she was with another baby girl, obviously also a special child.
I felt my heart being pinched looking at the special child especially when he started to move from table to table and licked the leftover icecreams.
I wonder, what kind of life would he have when he gets older? Would he be able to cope with the mainstreams? Is there still a chnace for him to grow normally? What kind of future is in store for him?
I prayed for him but I wonder what else can I do to help.
I arrived too early in my godson's birthday party then this boy of about nine or 10 approached me. He was so curious; he kept on asking a lot of questions. When the party started, he became so unruly. He kept on poking the mascot. He also kept on touching the giveaways, the cake, the emcees. His poor mother followed him around but couldn't do much as she was with another baby girl, obviously also a special child.
I felt my heart being pinched looking at the special child especially when he started to move from table to table and licked the leftover icecreams.
I wonder, what kind of life would he have when he gets older? Would he be able to cope with the mainstreams? Is there still a chnace for him to grow normally? What kind of future is in store for him?
I prayed for him but I wonder what else can I do to help.
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